“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” - Colossians 3:13  (NIV)

To say we adored her was an understatement. Love, strength, compassion and service flowed from her easily… like breathing in-and-out. We could only watch her as a flip of the spatula or a stir of a spoon produced the most delicious food to be carried in warm dishes to the sick, or plain hungry. A promise to a dying husband, who could no longer take care of himself, but wanted to live at home, was honored. The love of a grand-mother who could laugh at two little girls who had covered themselves, and her house with a bag of flour, eased our embarrassment and apologies. When she mowed her lawn it was to mow a neighbor’s, as well. To grow roses was not only to decorate her garden but to decorate a grave, too. To rub salve on someone’s open-wound, wash their dirty hair… or cut their thick toe-nails, had long ago been settled in her heart as the right thing to do. We were young and strong with all of life’s possibilities standing in front of us, but in her presence we felt weak, lazy and so self-concerned.

This wonderful woman was our mother, mother-in-law and grand-mother. However, she had a quiet secret that was “un-see-able” to most… but we who were close to her knew well: She could not forgive. She wanted to forgive and, at times, believed she had forgiven… but then the long list of people who had hurt her would return, and each incident, yes… even every word and each outcome, would be re-lived in “living-color”, as if they were yesterday. Some grievances were over 80 years-old because she had out-lived everyone, but still they were her un-welcome living companions. We hurt for her… and after mom fell in love with Jesus at the age of 65, we had many conversations and prayers together about God’s principles on forgiveness. She received the victory of the Cross: that Jesus had died for her sins and, as we reminded her, for the sins of the people who had wounded her. Unfortunately, she continued to repeat the painful stories of the past to anyone who would listen. The complete freedom she could have found in Christ was not to be hers, as deep within herself Mom found she could not let go of the memories. They had become ‘familiar friends’ who had been traveling companions along the paths of life, and to lose sight of them would make her feel alone. It finally occurred to us that our beautiful mother, who love us so completely and gave her life to bless and serve others, had what the Bible called a “root of bitterness”. And, the bitter root that bore anger, unforgiveness, pain, hopelessness, injustice… they all wanted to over-grow her beautiful garden of roses.

In her last years, her body grew weak and, as the mind follows, we knew our conversations about forgiveness would only cause her more stress. Today, we believe everyone who came in contact with our mother experienced the living and loving hands of Jesus! She shined with His love in spite of her pain and she now rests in God’s arms… forgiven, and finally knowing how to completely forgive others.

“Mercy and forgiveness must be free and unmerited to the wrong-doer. If the wrong-doer has to do something to merit it, then it isn’t mercy, but forgiveness always comes at a cost to the one granting the forgiveness” - Tim Keller

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Life is not always ‘easy’, often with many thorn-bushes along the path that can leave bitter scars. If you are struggling to forgive others in your life, here are some Scriptures to read in your Bible. (If you don’t have a Bible, let us know and we will see about getting you one)

Bible verses to read, believe and act upon:
Ephesians 4:23; Matthew 18:21-22; Colossians 3:13;
Luke 6:37; Matthew 5:23-24; James 5:16